Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm better than you.

If you've read this blog at all — and you're probably too annoyed to do more than quickly scan it —, you might be wondering why I'm better than you. I mean, it's so obvious. I cook a mean vegetarian dinner. I clean. I write, okay so it's occasionally, but still probably more than you do. I knit things that people like or that I can wear. I sew. I decorate. I can bake everything I can imagine. I design loads of stuff for clients. I walk my dogs. I jog. I'm learning Spanish. I read gads of books on varying subjects, plus magazines. I do epic wallpaper. I antique in my neighborhood. I bike everywhere. I watch TV. I have a big garden and most of the plants don't die. I subscribe to blogs. I Facebook and Twitter. And when I go out, I am always punctual, even early. You might be able to do a handful of these things, certainly not all, and definitely not with my panache. I'm telling you, it's pretty awesome.

Why? What makes me so great?

Time. You don't have any. You're working or meeting friends for lunch or shopping at the mall or running late to someone's birthday party or casually stopping by the grocery store. You're always scraping together a few minutes to watch whatever show you DVRed last week. Not me. I deleted that already. You're leaving the house with intent, with purpose. I haven't had an unplanned face-to-face interaction with anyone in a month. Last week, when I met you at Chipotle, I ran four errands before lunch and cried in the car afterwards.

See, I'd feel bad for you, since obviously I'm superior, but I'm too jealous.


gbn said...

First, you ARE better than me. Second, I don't scan your's the only blog I read (I don't have time or interest for any others).

Truth be told, I am going on vacation next week to have 5 days like your everyday. That means 360 days of NOT your everyday. Really? Yes. That's nothing to be jealous of - honest. Enjoy the days you have right now as someday they will become what you daydream about and you, too, will be tardy (to the lunch you had to plan 3 weeks in advance) like the rest of us. ;)
You're the best,

Phil said...

i loved this entry. absolutely hilarious, yet very poignant. christine, you have a very dry wit that works well in blog/short form content. keep it up. - phil

Anonymous said...

Wow, this hits really close to home for me. I too, am better than you. :) I won't go into all the ways here, but suffice it to say they are many. At the same time, I've noted that I'm the only person I see under the age of 60 when I walk during the day. I have monthly dates with my best friends on a set day of the month. I report the neighborhood comings and goings to my husband when he gets home from work. Sigh. But I also agree with gbn. It's the classic and approved way out to complain about our current condition. What's more challenging is to find the joy in every moment possible, like the grapes you found on your prairie walk one day. We only get to do this one once, so, as much as possible, relish your infinite superiority and the tiny details that make the portrait of our lives so beautiful.
~Chronically underemployed and undersatisfied but trying to be Zen

Andrew said...

I died laughing. Great post. I really enjoy reading your blog. (when I get the time. Ha ha ha!)
I have to agree that you are better then me. It is hard with all the crap we have to do each day to love the little things. Keep up the good work!