Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Road of Inaccurate Measurements
Due to a precarious state of mind, I will be writing of the following event in the third person, a silly attempt at distance.
Christine ordered wallpaper in a sweet damask print for the guest bedroom in November of 2008. She was hopeful that George, with mastery of the wallpapering experience, would help her put it up. Shouldn't take long, she thought, to cover up that stupid camouflage wall.
Several times during 2008 and even early 2009, she unrolled the tightly wound papers and held them up to the wall, sighing loudly as George walked past. No takers. But Christine was determined to put the wallpaper up, if it meant doing it herself. With 9'6" ceilings, the tops of the walls were hard to reach even with the ladder. She tacked up the paper at the top, unravelled it, then clipped the bottoms to size. One roll at a time, she snipped, wet, adhered and pasted. Slowly, slowly, slowly, the wall started to look wallpapered. Pretty, even.
Until, reaching the end of the last roll, Christine looked suspiciously at what remained of the wall. She was supposed to have extra, leftover wallpaper. The universe had succeeded in its evil plot. Four inches of wall to the corner lay exposed, plus a six-inch swath along the bottom of the last section. Rats!
Okay, honestly, that wasn't the word I was thinking. Luckily I was able to order another roll, problem solved. But now I have to work myself up to finishing the job. Not as easy.